Lucky me, my uncle is big-shot in INDIA-AIR. He pulled couple of strings together & there I was flying to America in business class. He helped me find my seat & introduced me to the business class cabin crew & told them to take good care of me. When my uncle left the plane, the crew was still smiling at me but it was more of smirk…as if I was traveling for free or something. The worst thing about this situation was that I could not comfort myself with the free booze now that the entire crew knew who I was. The last thing you want is your mom shouting at you when you call her once you reach the university…rather than she asking you, “how was your flight? Are you jet-lagged?, blah blah blah”, she is going bonkers over the fact that her dotting ‘teetotaler’ son consumed free liquor in-flight & created a ruckus (hic). Also, with no one sitting next to me, it was going to be a lonely ride to London.
My uber-cool uncle had also told the pilot about me, so after about three hours, the pilot invited me into the cockpit. There were two to-be-pilots already inside; conversing with the pilot & co-pilot; asking all sorts of questions, company policies, aircraft history & service etc. Meanwhile, I was looking at all the switchgears like a monkey in a zoo, most of the times wondering, “Emm…what is this? What does this button do? Is the pedal near the pilot’s foot an accelerator or a brake?” By then, the pilot read my mind & started asking me about my journey so far, my schooling background, & gave me full permission to ask any questions now that he knew I was a mechanical engineer. Everyone knows how straight-forward I am… so my first question to him was a simple one, “what happens when one of the engines fail?”
The co-pilot gave me ‘the look’ the moment he heard this while the to-be-pilots started palpitating. The pilot, on the other hand, quickly changed the topic by pointing at the window saying, “Hey, look guys, we are now flying over Tehran!”
Ok. So what’s the catch? Am I supposed to look outside the window & wave to the crowd below? Or am I to look and point out and jump up with joy shouting, “ooh ooh, that part of Tehran down there looks just like Connaught Place in Delhi!!!” We are flying 33,000 feet above sea-level! Shouldn’t I be worrying about some goon down there with a missile launcher pointed at us, hitting us & then you worrying about how to control the plane when an engine or tail or wing goes missing!
“FLYING OVER TEHRAN!!!!!”…. sheeeesh!!!!!!!!!!
A London stop-over later, I was back on the flight with no one in the adjacent seat once again. I was hoping that the change of crew would mean I could taste some booze on my way to USA but those hopes took a severe beating when one of the stewards came up to me & told me that he & my uncle have known each other for a decade. This meant another eight hours on juices, boring Bollywood movies & lot of sleep.
23 hours gone, I reached the promise land. Also, with no one sitting next to me during the entire flight & having lost my chance to tipple, my dream of joining the mile-high club were severely busted whichever way you look at it.
“The air smells like maple syrup” is what I told my mom when I called her up. It was only later that I realized that the air does not smell like maple syrup but it was the car in which I was travelling which had the MAPLE-TREE freshener inside. Air in America actually smells like cigarettes. Look around & all I could see is people with cigarettes. There is this MULL-BORROW man & then there is the common man. Both of them smoke. One rides a horse while the other drives a car with one hand outside the window, fingers tightly gripping the cigarette butt, other hand on the steering wheel & head tilted so that he/she can hold the cell-phone between his/her ear & shoulder-blade.
Anyways, it didn’t take me long to figure out what the native people were really thinking of me coming here. I could read the message behind their fake smiles that damn easily. When native men smiled, I always thought they wanted to say, “get lost short fat guy with receding hairline who has come here to steal my job, lowlife!” irrespective of what kind of worker he was whereas chicks, & I mean hot chicks depicted their message loud n clear, “Buzz of four-eyes! Go find yourself an Indian chick. I am not going out with you!!!”
Under such circumstances the best thing to do is return the smile back & they should be able to read your message:- “whatever keeps you happy!!!”
One week after staying at senior’s place, I was introduced to other seniors from different departments. After exchanging pleasantries, all of them had one question for me…. “Why here? Couldn’t you find any other college to make your life miserable?” Hmmm…good question that one but the only answer I could think of was, “well, I thought I’d give you guys a company.”
The chick scenario here was sad. For me, when was it not? The native chicks didn’t give a damn while desi chicks were damned. I was hoping that I’d find someone interesting once the university opened. A week after the university opened, I thought I had found one, a special one, the only one. As luck would have had it, she was hooked up with some guy so I already gave up even before going for the kill.
There are some things a guy should not hesitate to go after. Getting a right girl is very essential. Someone who not only attracts you by her beauty and charm but also stimulates you by her intellect. Finding the right one is a not a problem if you are willing to try. Unfortunately, today’s so called right ones want a guy who is smart, rich and understanding. As for me, there is a long way to go before I fulfill my to-be right one’s criteria (if at all I manage to get the one I want).
-Peteboy
My uber-cool uncle had also told the pilot about me, so after about three hours, the pilot invited me into the cockpit. There were two to-be-pilots already inside; conversing with the pilot & co-pilot; asking all sorts of questions, company policies, aircraft history & service etc. Meanwhile, I was looking at all the switchgears like a monkey in a zoo, most of the times wondering, “Emm…what is this? What does this button do? Is the pedal near the pilot’s foot an accelerator or a brake?” By then, the pilot read my mind & started asking me about my journey so far, my schooling background, & gave me full permission to ask any questions now that he knew I was a mechanical engineer. Everyone knows how straight-forward I am… so my first question to him was a simple one, “what happens when one of the engines fail?”
The co-pilot gave me ‘the look’ the moment he heard this while the to-be-pilots started palpitating. The pilot, on the other hand, quickly changed the topic by pointing at the window saying, “Hey, look guys, we are now flying over Tehran!”
Ok. So what’s the catch? Am I supposed to look outside the window & wave to the crowd below? Or am I to look and point out and jump up with joy shouting, “ooh ooh, that part of Tehran down there looks just like Connaught Place in Delhi!!!” We are flying 33,000 feet above sea-level! Shouldn’t I be worrying about some goon down there with a missile launcher pointed at us, hitting us & then you worrying about how to control the plane when an engine or tail or wing goes missing!
“FLYING OVER TEHRAN!!!!!”…. sheeeesh!!!!!!!!!!
A London stop-over later, I was back on the flight with no one in the adjacent seat once again. I was hoping that the change of crew would mean I could taste some booze on my way to USA but those hopes took a severe beating when one of the stewards came up to me & told me that he & my uncle have known each other for a decade. This meant another eight hours on juices, boring Bollywood movies & lot of sleep.
23 hours gone, I reached the promise land. Also, with no one sitting next to me during the entire flight & having lost my chance to tipple, my dream of joining the mile-high club were severely busted whichever way you look at it.
“The air smells like maple syrup” is what I told my mom when I called her up. It was only later that I realized that the air does not smell like maple syrup but it was the car in which I was travelling which had the MAPLE-TREE freshener inside. Air in America actually smells like cigarettes. Look around & all I could see is people with cigarettes. There is this MULL-BORROW man & then there is the common man. Both of them smoke. One rides a horse while the other drives a car with one hand outside the window, fingers tightly gripping the cigarette butt, other hand on the steering wheel & head tilted so that he/she can hold the cell-phone between his/her ear & shoulder-blade.
Anyways, it didn’t take me long to figure out what the native people were really thinking of me coming here. I could read the message behind their fake smiles that damn easily. When native men smiled, I always thought they wanted to say, “get lost short fat guy with receding hairline who has come here to steal my job, lowlife!” irrespective of what kind of worker he was whereas chicks, & I mean hot chicks depicted their message loud n clear, “Buzz of four-eyes! Go find yourself an Indian chick. I am not going out with you!!!”
Under such circumstances the best thing to do is return the smile back & they should be able to read your message:- “whatever keeps you happy!!!”
One week after staying at senior’s place, I was introduced to other seniors from different departments. After exchanging pleasantries, all of them had one question for me…. “Why here? Couldn’t you find any other college to make your life miserable?” Hmmm…good question that one but the only answer I could think of was, “well, I thought I’d give you guys a company.”
The chick scenario here was sad. For me, when was it not? The native chicks didn’t give a damn while desi chicks were damned. I was hoping that I’d find someone interesting once the university opened. A week after the university opened, I thought I had found one, a special one, the only one. As luck would have had it, she was hooked up with some guy so I already gave up even before going for the kill.
There are some things a guy should not hesitate to go after. Getting a right girl is very essential. Someone who not only attracts you by her beauty and charm but also stimulates you by her intellect. Finding the right one is a not a problem if you are willing to try. Unfortunately, today’s so called right ones want a guy who is smart, rich and understanding. As for me, there is a long way to go before I fulfill my to-be right one’s criteria (if at all I manage to get the one I want).
-Peteboy
(This is part-2 of a three part mini series where the blogger wishes to share his experiences as he goes on to chase his so called dreams.)
