Overview of the story:
Two gujju crime fighters who foil peteboy and bakwas’s plan to cut a day of college (and still make it for college assembly).
Act 1 (Depot to station)
Scene 1
Location: Railway station
In spite of it being a early yet gloomy Monday morning our tireless Gujju Gaandaa fighters keep vigil…for there is a scare…somewhere there is a child who is not able to mug 3 pages of utter nonsense….some where ….an adolescent wants to bunk college…and at their homes….peteboy and bakwas…aren’t able to figure out Prof. Chous notes!! BEWARE: Of the lanky super heroes: Jindal and Vijjal. Jindal who, when angered looks at the heavens and lets out what we call THE SILENT KILLER rendering any living being gasping for anything less odiferous. Legend has it H2S runs for the hills when THE SILENT KILLER escapes the Great Divide. Vijjal who when annoyed grasps real hard to his Red Pen – Green Pen and lets the MOTORMOUTH loose!! Shudder run down the spines of the non-muggu’s in their presence – Aila JnV is what they all ultimately say!!!
jindal (gazing into the never-ending skies to vijjal): vijjal bhai, I’ve got news..
vijjal: vvvot yyyour kkkonstipation is better
jindal: nathi nathi, I rewrote all my notes yesterday!!
vijjal: Kame???
Disgusted that Jindal out did him yet again… Vijjal walks away!!
jindal (breathing the air up there....and through is mammoth mush...yellls): came bake!!!
Act I
Scene 2:
Peteboy meets Bakwas at the bus depot and both are headed to the railway station. They are off to watch a movie as neither had/ could prepare for a Mechanics test.
pete: yaar bak’.. I ain't understanding horseshit for the mechanics kaa test man... I think we'll bunk that prof.mechanico’s lecture n catch some movie... What say??
bilkulbakwas: sure thing man. Now, given that we had planned to catch a movie instead of the test...remind me that I’ve gotto chuck the lousy dabba I packed from home
pete: who wants dabbba?? We’ll eat burgers & pizzas man!
bilkulbakwas: yeah....you know what, last night there was this news item on orkuch.com where they gave this mom an award coz she brutally beat up her kid coz he didn’t finish his chaas!!
pete: these god-dame-d gujju’s
Just when pete n buck are about to enter the lane leading to the station, they hear footsteps scurrying towards them
pete: he he he he
bilkulbakwas: don’t laugh man...if it weren't for those creepy jnv (jindal and ....) I would have thrown my IC Engines book at him man
pete: What?? Is it them?? GULP! Is it? Is it.... J........
Suddenly
jerry (a “cute” friend of pete and bakwas): hi guys?
Wary that it’s JNV pete and bakwas hurriedly...tuck their shirts and lick they're hair down
bilkulbakwas (turning behind): (sigh)...sheesh kabab, jerry...I got a startle...by the way nice blouse.
pete (blinded by jerry’s HEPPYDENT SMILE) : (laughing) jerry!!!!
Jerry to bakwas: its original GURU wear man! Anyway you guys heard about peteRR....dude got busted by JNV near mankhurd for using deo!!!
pete: whaat? No way!!! I just bought a AXED kaa deo
bakwas: I thought that guy would have learnt his lesson after they busted his ass for wearing a bandana in ghatkopar
jerry: poor guy got the mamamamamamotormouth.....
peteboy: ouch!! Not the motormouth!!!!
bakwas (to peteboy): dude...hide the deo someplace man....those guys!!!!....
jerry: yeah...apparently it started raining while Vijjal was at it!!!...it was caught on camera too...
Act II (The Interrogation)
Scene 1
Location: About 200 meters from the station
After a bit Jerry hurries of to college…had to do some last minute studying for the test!!! Bakwas and Pete are headed to the station when Pete reminds Bakwas to empty his tiffin. Just as bakwas was emptying his dabba …the side parted, juggu speaking duper heroes Jindal and Vijjal make an entry… …
jindal grabs Bakwas’ baig and goes: Su
bakwas: Nope I don’t wanna
vijjal: SSSu Suu
bakwas (in a cocky tone): Kya jabardast karvayega (will you force me to??)??
…and then after a sudden burst of inspiration
vijjal (bursts): SU KARICH
bakwas and pete (in unison): Aila JnV!!!
Scene III (The chase sequence)
Location: Just outside the station
Bakwas manages to free himself from the clutches of the Nail Polished JnV and tries to catch up with Peteboy. Bakwas is trying to figure why Peteboy running to the station, which is a virtual dead end. But nothing can stop Pete from Hamra Himesss Bhai!! Caught between Himess and possible liberty Bakwas chooses Himess (at the least he’ll not be the only one getting clobbered, especially after the gruesome Poor Peter- Deo fiasco).
Peteboy hurtles past college and office goers like a shoe maker on a mission. Bakwas follows closely like a heat seeking missile on steroids. They make it through one subway…Whoops wrong platform…another subway…AAARRRGGGHHH…another wrong platform…Third time lucky they make it to the right platform but with no avail. The train headed theatre-ward isn’t expected for another 13.5 minutes.
Scene IV (The maybe we outran them sequence)
Location: Platform No. 5/6
Bakwas and Peteboy creep out from behind a pillar with their backs towards each other.
peteboy: Dude, looks like the coast is clear
bakwas: Same here and since its 8:10 (15 mins to Assembly at College), I guess these guys’s must’ve given up
peteboy: I doubt that
bakwas: Think about it…
peteboy: Jo Bhi Yaar…Chodd…tere paas ticket ke paise he na (What ever dude…you have money for the tickets right)
bakwas (with a huge smile): he he he …
peteboy: what??
bakwas: I pulled a sexy scam.
peteboy (also with a huge smile): kyu?? Tu kya kiya… (Why? What did you do?)
bakwas: I sold PUG’s and my semester 2 books?
peteboy: What do you mean Uday’s and mine…?
bakwas: That’s the scam part nah!!
Suddenly Peteboy drops a jaw coz from against the light he sees a tall lanky weirdo who cannot be mistaken. Bakwas knows the look on Peteboy’s face.
Peteboy (with mouth wide open): Jai Mata Di Bak man!! (Rendition of: “Holy Cow, Batman!!”)
Bakwas grabs onto Peteboy’s bag and is about to turn when a paper glides under his foot. It’s a paper that Bakwas knows. It’s his Father’s Angel’s journal sheet!! On it written in more than 3 colors is written “Dare To Not To Stamp!!” Bakwas and Peteboy have no idea what it means but they know that this sure implies trouble.
(IN SLOW MOTION): From amidst the crowd on the platform a be-mustached lanky person, with pleat less pants, a see through embroidered shirt and black formal shoes appears. Bakwas can’t help but laugh at Vijjal’s quivering lips…contagious though his laugh may not be…peteboy notices the lips and breaks into a hysterical guffaw too. Little do they know this is the build up to MMMMMOTORMOUTH!!!
Aghast in desperation Bakwas looks yonder to the clock, 0815 is what it reads.
bakwas: JAI MATA DI PETEBOY MAN!!!
Scene IV (The station ma fight sequence)
0815! A whole 15 minutes with JnV!
bakwas: For pete’s sake boy I told you we should’ve studied for the test!! (Bakwas’ eyes are trying to tell Peteboy to follow his lead)
peteboy: Huh??
bakwas: Peteboy…didn’t I miss call you at 7:47 late last night??
peteboy: WTC man?? (then the tube-light glows)….oh!! you’re jo….
bakwas (cutting Peteboy short): YES!! YES!! I called you nah
peteboy (finally catching on): Yes you miss called me at 7:47 “late” last night!!
Jindal wont take any of this nonsense….which is actually too confusing for him.
jindal (to the skies): don’t think you can make us yeda (mad).
bakwas (realizing Jindal is longitudinally cock eyed replies): arre come on Jindal why would we make you yeda??
peteboy: We were discussing Mechanics
vijjal: NanananananananaNo
Unable to resist the fun in Vijjal’s NananananaNo Peteboy and Bakwas burst out laughing. Unaware whats happening JnV also start laughing. So now everybody is laughing. Thinking that this mindless laughing could cover a sly exit, Peteboy and Bakwas try and make a run for it. Buy amidst the laugh…three blunt objects hit Peteboy’s back…he yelps in pain…and looks on the ground to find not one, not two, but three pens on the ground. This was like the Zorro except that the pen is mightier than the sword, or so these GujjuGaandas literally thought.
Bakwas is in a dilemma, whether he should do what is logically right and leave Peteboy’s fat ass and run for it or be an idiot and help Peteboy out. The duffer chose the later, a bad…very bad choice indeed. Bakwas could imagine what was to come. Be compelled to sit beside or smellier still behind the two Khakra Kings, study from their immaculately written notes. The notes of the mindless babble that the lecturer would puke out hours on end, day in and day out. But this situation demanded more thought JnV. This was real bad stuff in their eyes. Two non-gujju’s, throwing dabba, bunking college and not giving taste (gujju for test).
Jindal put his giraffe like arm around Bakwas, the damp patch under his shoulder was enough to knock Bakwas out cold. Peteboy in all his pain comes to Bakwas’ side.
peteboy: Hey bakwas…are you alright??
He doesn’t get an answer!!
peteboy (more concerned this time): Bakwas Dude are you alright?? Do you want me to fetch some smelling salts??
White in shock Bakwas springs into life when he hears Smelling Salts. It slips Peteboys mind that JnV are also called Smelling Salts.
bakwas (dazed): What happened man?? The last I remember was….. (he’s unable to get over the image).
peteboy (to bakwas): Hurry up dude, JnV have almost picked up what ever they dropped.
Bakwas and Peteboy hobble back into the subway and they sit at the last step trying to catch their breath. Tic Toc Tic Toc…Bakwas and Peteboy anticipate a hottie in tight pants and a see through blouse. They get just that and more. Aila JnV.
Bakwas and Peteboy don’t have the energy to run anymore…They give up…They surrender.
Act II
Scene I (The Auto rickshaw ma 3rd Degree)
Ruthless JnV force PnB to squeeze into a rickshaw. Peteboy hopes he’s beheaded halaal style. Bakwas hopes he faints before they unleash hell upon them.
The ask Pete and Bakwas the make or break question.
jindal: Doo yoo have Rupiss 4 eech??
The ride from the station to college is Rupees 16…hence the “Rupiss 4 eech”
bakwas (full of his cocky self): We were going for a movie mug pot!!
Infuriated with Bakwas attitude Vijjal Burrps and Jindal Pssts from down…that was the last I remember!!
Legend has it Bakwas and Peteboy attended assembly and duly flunked the test soon after. Jindal topped the “taste” and Vijjal was heartbroken as he stood a meager 10th. They say alls well that ends well….WHAT A FUDGING LIE!!!
Conclusion: Thanks to VnJ all truanters around ghatkopar, mulund and vashi shudder at the sound of VnJ, Aila JnV is what they ultimately say!!
Two gujju crime fighters who foil peteboy and bakwas’s plan to cut a day of college (and still make it for college assembly).
Act 1 (Depot to station)
Scene 1
Location: Railway station
In spite of it being a early yet gloomy Monday morning our tireless Gujju Gaandaa fighters keep vigil…for there is a scare…somewhere there is a child who is not able to mug 3 pages of utter nonsense….some where ….an adolescent wants to bunk college…and at their homes….peteboy and bakwas…aren’t able to figure out Prof. Chous notes!! BEWARE: Of the lanky super heroes: Jindal and Vijjal. Jindal who, when angered looks at the heavens and lets out what we call THE SILENT KILLER rendering any living being gasping for anything less odiferous. Legend has it H2S runs for the hills when THE SILENT KILLER escapes the Great Divide. Vijjal who when annoyed grasps real hard to his Red Pen – Green Pen and lets the MOTORMOUTH loose!! Shudder run down the spines of the non-muggu’s in their presence – Aila JnV is what they all ultimately say!!!
jindal (gazing into the never-ending skies to vijjal): vijjal bhai, I’ve got news..
vijjal: vvvot yyyour kkkonstipation is better
jindal: nathi nathi, I rewrote all my notes yesterday!!
vijjal: Kame???
Disgusted that Jindal out did him yet again… Vijjal walks away!!
jindal (breathing the air up there....and through is mammoth mush...yellls): came bake!!!
Act I
Scene 2:
Peteboy meets Bakwas at the bus depot and both are headed to the railway station. They are off to watch a movie as neither had/ could prepare for a Mechanics test.
pete: yaar bak’.. I ain't understanding horseshit for the mechanics kaa test man... I think we'll bunk that prof.mechanico’s lecture n catch some movie... What say??
bilkulbakwas: sure thing man. Now, given that we had planned to catch a movie instead of the test...remind me that I’ve gotto chuck the lousy dabba I packed from home
pete: who wants dabbba?? We’ll eat burgers & pizzas man!
bilkulbakwas: yeah....you know what, last night there was this news item on orkuch.com where they gave this mom an award coz she brutally beat up her kid coz he didn’t finish his chaas!!
pete: these god-dame-d gujju’s
Just when pete n buck are about to enter the lane leading to the station, they hear footsteps scurrying towards them
pete: he he he he
bilkulbakwas: don’t laugh man...if it weren't for those creepy jnv (jindal and ....) I would have thrown my IC Engines book at him man
pete: What?? Is it them?? GULP! Is it? Is it.... J........
Suddenly
jerry (a “cute” friend of pete and bakwas): hi guys?
Wary that it’s JNV pete and bakwas hurriedly...tuck their shirts and lick they're hair down
bilkulbakwas (turning behind): (sigh)...sheesh kabab, jerry...I got a startle...by the way nice blouse.
pete (blinded by jerry’s HEPPYDENT SMILE) : (laughing) jerry!!!!
Jerry to bakwas: its original GURU wear man! Anyway you guys heard about peteRR....dude got busted by JNV near mankhurd for using deo!!!
pete: whaat? No way!!! I just bought a AXED kaa deo
bakwas: I thought that guy would have learnt his lesson after they busted his ass for wearing a bandana in ghatkopar
jerry: poor guy got the mamamamamamotormouth.....
peteboy: ouch!! Not the motormouth!!!!
bakwas (to peteboy): dude...hide the deo someplace man....those guys!!!!....
jerry: yeah...apparently it started raining while Vijjal was at it!!!...it was caught on camera too...
Act II (The Interrogation)
Scene 1
Location: About 200 meters from the station
After a bit Jerry hurries of to college…had to do some last minute studying for the test!!! Bakwas and Pete are headed to the station when Pete reminds Bakwas to empty his tiffin. Just as bakwas was emptying his dabba …the side parted, juggu speaking duper heroes Jindal and Vijjal make an entry… …
jindal grabs Bakwas’ baig and goes: Su
bakwas: Nope I don’t wanna
vijjal: SSSu Suu
bakwas (in a cocky tone): Kya jabardast karvayega (will you force me to??)??
…and then after a sudden burst of inspiration
vijjal (bursts): SU KARICH
bakwas and pete (in unison): Aila JnV!!!
Scene III (The chase sequence)
Location: Just outside the station
Bakwas manages to free himself from the clutches of the Nail Polished JnV and tries to catch up with Peteboy. Bakwas is trying to figure why Peteboy running to the station, which is a virtual dead end. But nothing can stop Pete from Hamra Himesss Bhai!! Caught between Himess and possible liberty Bakwas chooses Himess (at the least he’ll not be the only one getting clobbered, especially after the gruesome Poor Peter- Deo fiasco).
Peteboy hurtles past college and office goers like a shoe maker on a mission. Bakwas follows closely like a heat seeking missile on steroids. They make it through one subway…Whoops wrong platform…another subway…AAARRRGGGHHH…another wrong platform…Third time lucky they make it to the right platform but with no avail. The train headed theatre-ward isn’t expected for another 13.5 minutes.
Scene IV (The maybe we outran them sequence)
Location: Platform No. 5/6
Bakwas and Peteboy creep out from behind a pillar with their backs towards each other.
peteboy: Dude, looks like the coast is clear
bakwas: Same here and since its 8:10 (15 mins to Assembly at College), I guess these guys’s must’ve given up
peteboy: I doubt that
bakwas: Think about it…
peteboy: Jo Bhi Yaar…Chodd…tere paas ticket ke paise he na (What ever dude…you have money for the tickets right)
bakwas (with a huge smile): he he he …
peteboy: what??
bakwas: I pulled a sexy scam.
peteboy (also with a huge smile): kyu?? Tu kya kiya… (Why? What did you do?)
bakwas: I sold PUG’s and my semester 2 books?
peteboy: What do you mean Uday’s and mine…?
bakwas: That’s the scam part nah!!
Suddenly Peteboy drops a jaw coz from against the light he sees a tall lanky weirdo who cannot be mistaken. Bakwas knows the look on Peteboy’s face.
Peteboy (with mouth wide open): Jai Mata Di Bak man!! (Rendition of: “Holy Cow, Batman!!”)
Bakwas grabs onto Peteboy’s bag and is about to turn when a paper glides under his foot. It’s a paper that Bakwas knows. It’s his Father’s Angel’s journal sheet!! On it written in more than 3 colors is written “Dare To Not To Stamp!!” Bakwas and Peteboy have no idea what it means but they know that this sure implies trouble.
(IN SLOW MOTION): From amidst the crowd on the platform a be-mustached lanky person, with pleat less pants, a see through embroidered shirt and black formal shoes appears. Bakwas can’t help but laugh at Vijjal’s quivering lips…contagious though his laugh may not be…peteboy notices the lips and breaks into a hysterical guffaw too. Little do they know this is the build up to MMMMMOTORMOUTH!!!
Aghast in desperation Bakwas looks yonder to the clock, 0815 is what it reads.
bakwas: JAI MATA DI PETEBOY MAN!!!
Scene IV (The station ma fight sequence)
0815! A whole 15 minutes with JnV!
bakwas: For pete’s sake boy I told you we should’ve studied for the test!! (Bakwas’ eyes are trying to tell Peteboy to follow his lead)
peteboy: Huh??
bakwas: Peteboy…didn’t I miss call you at 7:47 late last night??
peteboy: WTC man?? (then the tube-light glows)….oh!! you’re jo….
bakwas (cutting Peteboy short): YES!! YES!! I called you nah
peteboy (finally catching on): Yes you miss called me at 7:47 “late” last night!!
Jindal wont take any of this nonsense….which is actually too confusing for him.
jindal (to the skies): don’t think you can make us yeda (mad).
bakwas (realizing Jindal is longitudinally cock eyed replies): arre come on Jindal why would we make you yeda??
peteboy: We were discussing Mechanics
vijjal: NanananananananaNo
Unable to resist the fun in Vijjal’s NananananaNo Peteboy and Bakwas burst out laughing. Unaware whats happening JnV also start laughing. So now everybody is laughing. Thinking that this mindless laughing could cover a sly exit, Peteboy and Bakwas try and make a run for it. Buy amidst the laugh…three blunt objects hit Peteboy’s back…he yelps in pain…and looks on the ground to find not one, not two, but three pens on the ground. This was like the Zorro except that the pen is mightier than the sword, or so these GujjuGaandas literally thought.
Bakwas is in a dilemma, whether he should do what is logically right and leave Peteboy’s fat ass and run for it or be an idiot and help Peteboy out. The duffer chose the later, a bad…very bad choice indeed. Bakwas could imagine what was to come. Be compelled to sit beside or smellier still behind the two Khakra Kings, study from their immaculately written notes. The notes of the mindless babble that the lecturer would puke out hours on end, day in and day out. But this situation demanded more thought JnV. This was real bad stuff in their eyes. Two non-gujju’s, throwing dabba, bunking college and not giving taste (gujju for test).
Jindal put his giraffe like arm around Bakwas, the damp patch under his shoulder was enough to knock Bakwas out cold. Peteboy in all his pain comes to Bakwas’ side.
peteboy: Hey bakwas…are you alright??
He doesn’t get an answer!!
peteboy (more concerned this time): Bakwas Dude are you alright?? Do you want me to fetch some smelling salts??
White in shock Bakwas springs into life when he hears Smelling Salts. It slips Peteboys mind that JnV are also called Smelling Salts.
bakwas (dazed): What happened man?? The last I remember was….. (he’s unable to get over the image).
peteboy (to bakwas): Hurry up dude, JnV have almost picked up what ever they dropped.
Bakwas and Peteboy hobble back into the subway and they sit at the last step trying to catch their breath. Tic Toc Tic Toc…Bakwas and Peteboy anticipate a hottie in tight pants and a see through blouse. They get just that and more. Aila JnV.
Bakwas and Peteboy don’t have the energy to run anymore…They give up…They surrender.
Act II
Scene I (The Auto rickshaw ma 3rd Degree)
Ruthless JnV force PnB to squeeze into a rickshaw. Peteboy hopes he’s beheaded halaal style. Bakwas hopes he faints before they unleash hell upon them.
The ask Pete and Bakwas the make or break question.
jindal: Doo yoo have Rupiss 4 eech??
The ride from the station to college is Rupees 16…hence the “Rupiss 4 eech”
bakwas (full of his cocky self): We were going for a movie mug pot!!
Infuriated with Bakwas attitude Vijjal Burrps and Jindal Pssts from down…that was the last I remember!!
Legend has it Bakwas and Peteboy attended assembly and duly flunked the test soon after. Jindal topped the “taste” and Vijjal was heartbroken as he stood a meager 10th. They say alls well that ends well….WHAT A FUDGING LIE!!!
Conclusion: Thanks to VnJ all truanters around ghatkopar, mulund and vashi shudder at the sound of VnJ, Aila JnV is what they ultimately say!!
2 comments:
Good words.
Awesome job mates...... read all the posts at once...
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